If you have big boobs, embrace it. If you have big thighs, do it. I mean, you know, it’s really boring to see the same people. So if you’re different, that’s sunlight in somebody’s world .

Jillian Mercado (via karinhsu)
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stability:

My mom thought we would need a hammer to get this pole into the ground but I just pushed it in and I almost said “psh, hammer my asshole” but then I realized

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foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

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bakrua:

bewbin:

Why do people drink alcohol it tastes disgusting

you don’t drink it for the taste. u drink shit like apple juice for the taste. you drink alcohol to get rid of the bad taste that every awful person in your life has left

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thatfuckingcrowv2:

orlandobloomers:

instead of sending me nudes you can send me 

  • pics of you smiling with ur fave stuffed animal
  • pics of you smiling with ur mom 
  • pics of plants
  • pics of ur dog
  • pics of silly lookin bugs that u find 

send me the nudes while this geek eats a flower

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